7eventy 5ive

 (2007)

by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

TOTAL SPOILERS

75 is a typical slasher film involving a mysterious axe-wielding murderer and a house full of horny, partying students. It begins with the official genre cliché- a prologue "ten years earlier" which pretty much identifies the killer, as such prefaces invariably do, but this script keeps one ace in the hole. The guy who must be the killer (based upon the prologue) can't be the killer because he is among the terrified victims who see the hooded slasher in action.

As it turns out, there is a logical explanation for that. When the kid from the first scene was in the loony bin, he enlisted a fellow nutcase to assist in his current murder spree. The actual killer has no motive. He just likes killing. The guy who does have the motive told him who to kill. They are the Martin and Lewis of mass murder.

The duel killer scenario does lead to one good scene. Two of the students manage to momentarily overpower the gigantic slasher, but are having trouble holding him down, and they enlist their terrified colleague to grab the slasher's axe and lend a hand. At this point the audience doesn't realize that the kids have actually asked the killer's Svengali for assistance. The lad raises the axe, ostensibly to save the day. The axe drops. Silence. Blackness. Then the scene comes back up to reveal that he's driven the axe into one of the kids, not into the hooded maniac. He then helps the gigantic madman to his feet, like an athlete lending a hand to a fallen colleague. That was pretty much the only moment which distinguished this from any other movie where the slasher takes apart a bunch of horny youngsters with a bladed instrument.

Given that it most of the film takes place at a summer pool party filled with drunken, fornicating university students, there could have and should have been a lot more nudity. There must be close to a dozen scenes where people have sex with their clothes on. Oh, those kids today. They are so modest! The only nudity came from a "boo" moment, when two of the film's stars look for a friend. Something scares the woman as she peeks into a room, and the sound effects warn us of a scare - but it turns out to be a topless extra and her boyfriend. Big fuckin' deal.

I really can't find any reason to recommend the film, but there is really nothing wrong with it. The performances, photography and direction are technically competent. It meets the genre gore requirements, and has a few effective jump scares. The only problem is that it's the same old familiar characters and situations we have seen in about a gazillion other films, except that there is an unexpected tag team of killers.

 

DVD INFO

* widescreen anamorphic

* no features announced

 

 

 

 

 

THE CRITICS AND ACADEMIES

No major reviews online

THE PEOPLE

   
6.2 IMDB summary (of 10)

The IMDB score is bogus, influenced by ballot stuffing. As time goes on the film will settle in around 5.0

 

THE BOX OFFICE

Straight to DVD

 

NUDITY REPORT

  • One extra is topless. Briefly. See the main commentary.

Our Grade:

If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to read the explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:

C-