A hot chick, as a member of a professional virgin society, resolves to
stay pure until she's married. Her resolve is weakened by a lusty roommate and the presence of
the "Girls Gone Wild"
cameras, disguised here as "Chicks Go Crazy."
The virgin doesn't get laid, but she does get photographed dancing
topless after a drinking binge, so she decides that she has to travel
across the country in order to catch up with the Chicks Go Crazy van so
that she can beg for the naughty footage to be destroyed. As it turns out,
she never did get topless in the first place. She was so drunk that she
didn't remember the incident, and the topless chick in the video was
wearing an animal head, so it might have been anyone.
Bo-ring.
Typical straight-to-vid youthploitation flick. The lead characters are
two-dimensional and the antagonists come up at least a dimension short of
that. Rob Schneider plays a fictional version of that "Girls Go Wild" guy,
and manages to turn him into an even bigger ass than he actually is. And
that's no small achievement.
Needless to say, the head honchos of the professional virgin society
turn out to be lust-crazed hypocrites. The fact teaches us an important
lesson: students should do more fucking. Say ... the script was written by "Jeff Seeman." Could that be his real name?
If so, he was born to write this movie, which is practically a love-poem
to semen.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
In short, the film is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord, and a
shameful demonstration of what can happen to humans when we succumb to the
darkest angels of our nature. Dick Cheney would think it too cruel to show
this film to a terrorist, or even to threaten to show it, even if doing so
could extract crucial intelligence which would save the lives of many
Republicans.
Which makes it slightly above average for a Rob Schneider film.
OK, I have to admit that I actually kinda like Rob in some movies, and
... well ... this movie really isn't as awful as I have claimed. It is,
however, a total waste of your time, so there's no reason to seek it out.
