Bachelor Party Vegas (2006) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

A groom-to-be and four of his best friends go to Vegas to have the bachelor party, which has been planned by the greatest party planner in history. When they get there, they are met by someone who tells them that the legendary party planner has been called away on a family emergency or something, and that someone else will be taking over. This is the beginning of a nightmare unimagined by Hieronymus Bosch. In the course of the evening:

1. They are implicated as casino swindlers, and eventually as accomplices in a five million dollar casino heist which results in the death of an FBI agent.

2. They are mistaken for a gay bachelor party and receive lap dances from a sweaty, obese man.

3. They are waylaid by a limo full of fat chicks who ask to see their dicks, then make fun of them.

4. They are robbed of all their possessions and IDs.

5. They stumble upon a porn star. Unfortunately, her jealous boyfriend shows up, and he just happens to be the Ultimate Fighting Champion.

6. While running away from the ultimate angry tough guy, they find the money from the casino heist. The police soon catch them with the money, which really isn't good for them, because they were already suspects in the robbery.

7. They are jailed, and are assaulted by a gigantic muscular man who wants to make sweet love to them. Well, maybe not so sweet.

8. On their way from the local jail to the federal penitentiary, their vehicle is assaulted, their drivers are shotgunned to death, and they are kidnapped by the Ultimate Fighting Guy, who plans a different gruesome death for each of them.

So, as you can see, it is quite a relaxing, pleasant movie to watch. Just a wacky bachelor romp.

How could a story like that possibly end? Well, if you still really want to see the film, I won't spoil it for you. I have to say that the ending is actually kind of cool. Unfortunately, you will have to endure the unendurable in order to get to that ending.

This is a story that might have been redeemed by some really raunchy sex and nudity, but there is very little, just a few obscure actresses playing the parts of porn stars and, true to character, they all have your basic hyperinflated aftermarket hooters.

 

 

NUDITY REPORT

Two women provide clear topless scenes. I think the blonde is Tamara Whelan. No idea on the other one.

The Critics Vote ...

  • No major reviews online except variety.com. They wrote a very negative review, but don't read it if you plan to see the film. They compare it to another film with the same ending, and if you are familiar with the other film, that comparison is a 100% spoiler, because the endings are actually identical.

The People Vote ...

The meaning of the IMDb score: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence equivalent to about three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, comparable to approximately two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, equivalent to about a two star rating from the critics, or a C- from our system. Films rated below five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film - this score is roughly equivalent to one and a half stars from the critics or a D on our scale. (Possibly even less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

Our own guideline:

  • A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre.
  • B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. Any film rated B- or better is recommended for just about anyone. In order to rate at least a B-, a film should be both a critical and commercial success. Exceptions: (1) We will occasionally rate a film B- with good popular acceptance and bad reviews, if we believe the critics have severely underrated a film. (2) We may also assign a B- or better to a well-reviewed film which did not do well at the box office if we feel that the fault lay in the marketing of the film, and that the film might have been a hit if people had known about it. (Like, for example, The Waterdance.)
  • C+ means it has no crossover appeal, but will be considered excellent by people who enjoy this kind of movie. If this is your kind of movie, a C+ and an A are indistinguishable to you.
  • C means it is competent, but uninspired genre fare. People who like this kind of movie will think it satisfactory. Others probably will not.
  • C- indicates that it we found it to be a poor movie, but genre addicts find it watchable. Any film rated C- or better is recommended for fans of that type of film, but films with this rating should be approached with caution by mainstream audiences, who may find them incompetent or repulsive or both. If this is NOT your kind of movie, a C- and an E are indistinguishable to you.
  • D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. We don't score films below C- that often, because we like movies and we think that most of them have at least a solid niche audience. Now that you know that, you should have serious reservations about any movie below C-. Films rated below C- generally have both bad reviews and poor popular acceptance.
  • E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre.
  • F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

 

Based on this description, this film is a C-.  I actually like juvenile movies, and I like Kal Penn, but this one is just not a very pleasant film to watch, and is not especially funny. My gut told me to rate it D, because it doesn't really have enough laughs or enough nudity to be a good raunch-fest, but I changed it to C- on the basis of a pretty cool ending which I can't talk about.

Return to the Movie House home page