Fast Food Fast Women  (2000) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)

Scoop's notes in white:

It seems to me that there is only one essential ingredient for the fairy tale type of romantic comedy - the audience has to root for the lovers to come together. If the audience gets involved in their story, then it works. They kiss, or they finally find each other, or they clear up all their misunderstandings, and that makes us feel good inside.

This little film, written and directed by Amos Kollek, works because he gets us involved in the two main romances which form the core of his fairy tale. Although the events which transpire in the film are not intended to be realistic, all four of the main characters seem like real people. All four of them are nice people who deserve to be happier, and who will move closer to happiness if they can pair up with the proper choice.

Bella is a sweet waitress in a New York neighborhood diner, who knows all her customers by name, and brings them the food they should eat instead of what they actually order. She uses her station as a waitress to be a confessor and mother to her customers. Her romantic match is a cabbie who is trying to write the great novel, while single-handedly caring for two children abandoned by his ex-wife, one of whom is his, both of whom he loves. The future lovers start off with a misunderstanding. Her girlfriend told her not to seem to be too eager to get married, and not to talk about how much she likes kids. Therefore, on her first date with the cabbie, she pretends to be the aloof New Yorker and, unaware of his single parenting responsibilities, tells him she hates kids. From the start, therefore, we can see that she is perfect for him, but he has no way of knowing that.

The other match-up is an elderly couple who are insecure about starting a sexual relationship. Hell, they're even insecure about dating. It's been 40 years! She thinks about not looking good naked. He's 70 and hasn't had sex in years, so he wonders if he can still get it up. As with the other story, we can see that they are a good match, but they can't.

Before I recommend the film to you, you need to understand that some of the plot twists are downright ludicrous. The stories make Cinderella and Pretty Woman seem like gritty realism in comparison. The New York of the movie is a romanticized, sanitized vision stripped of the con artists, druggies, hookers, grime and violence. New York is just a great big Gershwin show filled with earnest people, sparkling bridges, twinkling lights, bubbling champagne, and rich widows who leave all their money to kind neighbors. You have to suspend all disbelief and accept that. But if you can do so, the characters acting inside of those situations are real - you'll see yourself, your uncles and aunts, and many people you know. They will not only be people you know, but people you like. They are your best friends and your favorite uncles and aunts, the ones whose lives you'd like to be able to improve, if you could.

Because of that identification, you'll root for them to find each other and get the happy ending that the script eventually donates to them, because they have earned it. You'll overlook the outlandish plot twists (it is offbeat magic realism) and some of the amateurish performances (notably Anna Thompson and her elderly lover of the past 12 years, who's supposed to be some kind of producer or something), and just enjoy it as a "feel good" romance.

Fast Food Fast Women is a quirky romantic comedy that defines itself in the first scene. The star, Bella (Anna Thompson, aka Anna Levine, Anna Thomson) lies down flat on her back in the middle of a New York Street. A car screeches to a halt, the driver runs up to her, and asks if she is ok. Then he asks what she is doing. Her answer? "I'm just trying to put some excitement in my Sunday." The tone being set, we learn that Bella is 35, works as a waitress in a diner where she is held in high regard, has been engaged practically forever to a married stage producer, and is dreading her 35 birthday. Her mother sets her up with a divorced man, who is a relative of a friend. One of her friends advises her to say that she hates kids, so she won't scare him off. What they don't know is that he loves kids, and his ex wife recently dumped two on his doorstep - their daughter, and a son she had after they broke up on him.

As the trailer says, New York is too big a place for only one love story. Three old men are regulars at the diner; one of them answers a personals add, and meets Mary Hartman herself, Louise Lasser. Another of the men develops a thing for a dancer in a peep show, who claims to have her doctorate in Jungian psychology, but works mainly in fantasy fulfillment. Throw in a stuttering Polish prostitute who can't get many tricks, because they can't understand her sales pitch, and you have the major players.