Forbidden Games (1976) from Brainscan

Not that anyone asked, but the following are the four genres nearest and dearest to my movie-loving heart:

4) 1950's sci-fi. From the sacred (Them) to the profane (The Navy Versus the Night Monsters).

3) Spaghetti Westerns. Whether ridiculous (A Fistful of Dollars) or sublime (Once Upon A Time in the West).

2) Submarine movies. Love them all, have seen them all. If there is a submarine in the background of the closing credits, I've seen it.... three times. Even that gawd-awful comedy with Kelsey Grammer. Saw it because they were on a submarine.

1) Adjective-noun, direct-to-video erotic thrillers. You know, adjective-noun, as in Midnight Tease or Dark Obsession or Forbidden Sins. Adjective followed by noun. And sometimes the adjective is redundant. Like Forbidden Sins. Aren't all sins forbidden? Isn't that what makes them sins? Mind you, if there's a book of allowable sins I'd like a copy, but I figure it's just a manuscript squirreled away in an Episcopal rectory.

But I digress. The adjective-noun genre is my fave for all the obvious reasons. Like T and A and B and babes, lots of babes, beautiful babes, oft-nekkid babes. Quality in this genre can be measured by how many babes get nekkid, how well they are known and how much time they are on screen.

Which brings me to the topic at hand, entitled Forbidden Games. This is, in my considered opinion, the very best adjective-noun-direct-to-video-erotic-thriller ever made. Evidence?

1) Amy Weber. Now that she's semi-famous for appearing on Son of the Beach, Amy's past work as a fitness and bikini model is kinda overlooked. Oddly enough, she didn't give up the goodies in front of a still camera, but first time in front of a movie camera and voila! Lots of T, some A. Small gal, not overly obnoxious robo-hooters, hell of a caboose. Amy has a sunbathing scene, a brief Hankster-approved woman-in-distress scene and a kick-ass, kissy-kissy, touchy-feely girl-girl scene.

2) Beckie Mullen. If Barbie dolls came to life they would all want to be Beckie Mullen. Here, Beckie does a striptease in front of the movie's protagonist, shows off her el primo rumpus and her to-die-for hooties. All in the first four minutes of the movie. That, gentlemen, is the sign of a real winner.

3) Gail Harris, former UK model, doing a triple B bathing scene, followed by a sport-humpin scene. Lots and lots of slow pans in the bathing scene. Lots.

4) Ashlie Rhey in a sport-humpin scene that was hot. Real hot. You get to see Ashlie's robo-hooters and some bum.

5) Veteran B movies babes Griffin Drew, Teresa Langley (aka Cory Lane) and Leslie Hunt, all of whom parade around, or lie around with tops cast aside.

6) Newcomer Alexsandra Kaniak. She's Amy's object of affection and has a more interesting face and a way better set of all-natural mighty-fines.

So that's why I think this is the best there is in the erotic thriller genre. Oh, and the plot isn't really all that bad, although the acting is and the director should have been shot on the third or fourth day, but who the f*** cares?