Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987) from Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
Many of you, like me, are lovers of movies so bad that they are good. Who, among us junk addicts, doesn't love Blood Surf or Manos or Plan 9 From Outer Space or Hardcase and Fist? We bad movie lovers would rather watch any of those films than The English Patient.
Well, if you are among our number, you will come pretty close to Bad Movie Valhalla with this one. Imagine the special effects of Howard the Duck, the ambience of Mad Max, half of the plot lifted from Planet of the Apes, the other half of the plot from Flesh Gordon 2, the acting of Plan 9, gratuitous T&A, about 20 minutes discussing Roddy Piper's penis, and the campiest dialogue ever written. If that appeals to you, read on, MacDuff.  

"Hell Comes to Frogtown" takes place in a post-apocalyptic world in which humans have achieved or are approaching secondary status on the planet. It starts with a parody of the Statue of Liberty scene in Planet of the Apes, just in case you're too dense to figure out the parallel to that earlier film. In this case, humans aren't competing with intelligent, super-evolved apes, but rather super-frogs. These amphibious fiends are gradually taking over all activities formerly dominated by humans, especially the NBA, where their leaping ability really comes in handy. 

NUDITY REPORT
male: none

female as follows

  • Cec Verrell is naked in a sex scene with Piper.
  • Sandahl Bergman spends much of the film in bikinis of one type or another.
  • Various female humans, held by the frogs, are seen in see-through tops.
The only hope for humans is to re-populate the earth, but most human males are now sterile, so the entire fate of the world rests on Roddy Piper's wide shoulders, or to be more specific, on his mighty dick, which may be the only working human dick in the universe. Roddy is held prisoner by the females who rule the human colonies on the planet, and he is kept in a special pee-pee harness which gives him a jolt any time he gets more than 100 yards from his captors. The women can also direct a jolt at him to control him or to punish him for naughty behavior and insubordination. You see, they can't have him wasting his sperm on infertile women, so they keep him in tow until the time is ripe. His pee-pee is branded "property of the provisional government". Sometimes they just zap him for their own entertainment because in a depressing future world with no Oprah to watch, chicks still need a chuckle or two, so they just send a few jolts to Roddy's nuts and watch him writhe in agony. Now that's entertainment!

Roddy's character is named Sam Hell, and his first assignment in fertility is to sneak into Frogtown (actually a deserted refinery with a strip club inside), and rescue a bunch of fertile women who are being held prisoner by some froggies. At first, the frogs hold sway over Roddy and Sandahl Bergman, but eventually Roddy kicks some Toad Tush. Before Roddy rescues Sandahl, she is forced by the frog kingpin to perform the dreaded Dance of the Three Snakes. You see, super-frogs have three penises, so when the dance is finished, he announces "the three snakes are aroused". Luckily the Rowdy one shows up just in time to kick some Froggy Fanny, rescue Sandahl, save the world, and pick up chicks.

Complete crap and highly recommended!

DVD info from Amazon

  • Widescreen anamorphic, 1.85:1

  • Full-length director and writer commentary

  • It is a colorful and crisp  transfer. 

The director, Donald Jackson, also directed "Ghost Taxi", "Lingerie Kickboxer", and, interestingly enough, "American Beauty". OK, maybe not the last one, but the other two are really his.  He also did three other Frogtown films, sneaking in one last one just before he died on October 20, 2003 (about two weeks ago as I write this). He never cast Roddy Piper again. The part of Sam Hell was taken over by Robert Z'dar (one film) and Scott Shaw (the other two).

The Critics Vote

  • Maltin 1.5/4 

  • Badmovies.org did one of their brilliant summaries, complete with pictures, audio clips, detailed summaries, jokes, etc.

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 4.2 
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a C+. A thumb way up for lovers of bad movies.

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