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A Very Harold and Kumar
3D Christmas
(2011)
by Johnny Web (Uncle
Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
This film recounts the third surreal adventure of a
pair of likeable Asian-American potheads. This time the boys (now men) manage
to shoot Santa Claus, then save him (and Christmas)
with emergency medical treatment. Years ago I
enjoyed the first Harold and Kumar film, but I
later found the second one to be generally lacking
in humor and energy except during the scenes with
Neil Patrick Harris. This one returns to the high
octane silliness of the original, and it's
damned funny, especially NPH, who is brilliant again
as a Bizarro-world version of himself. The film is ingenious in its use of
animation and special effects. The lads have a new
sidekick: a robot whose only imperatives are to make
waffles and protect Kumar. There's also plenty of
ironic use of 3D, and a semi-ironic claymation scene
which mimics the Stay-Puft Marshmallow sequence
in Ghostbusters.
The film also has a good heart to go with its jokes,
and together those elements form the sine qua non of
Scoopy amusement. And I wasn't the only one who
enjoyed it. It's rated
a very solid 7.2 at IMDb, which makes it the highest
in the series, although all three scores are similar
(7.1, 6.7, 7.2). It pulled in 72% positive
reviews per Rotten Tomatoes, which is just about as
high as an offensive, lowbrow stoner film is ever
going to get.
But I'll be damned if I know anybody I'd recommend it
to.
Let me explain:
It's a sentimental family Christmas movie which
carries a hard R rating for good reasons. So you tell
me - excepting me, who the hell is the audience for
this thing?
The people who are out
looking for a warm film with sentimental messages
about Christmas, friendship, and faithfulness in
marriage will find all those things. They will also
find graphic violence, sex,
nudity, obscene language, drug abuse, casual child
endangerment, and a scene which ridicules Jesus.
(What could be more Christmassy than that?)
The people who are looking for
a stoner film will find all the necessary elements
here, but those people are the dudes who ridicule
their parents for watching It's A Wonderful Life.
Underneath its silly, gritty exterior, this film
IS It's A Wonderful Life.
Unsurprisingly, the film
receives its highest IMDb scores from
males under 18. In other words, The people who
would most enjoy a stoner Christmas film are too
young to get into the theater for an R-rated
movie.
So the entire target audience for
the theatrical run consists of emotionally retarded
adults like me. What did sensible people think? The
top 1000 voters at IMDB, who obviously expected this
to be a long-lost Tarkovsky film, rated this film a
weak 5.5 out of 10.
So I'm not really expecting a
$200M blockbuster here. Because holiday films have a
longer-than-average shelf life, this one may manage to
top the theatrical receipts amassed by the previous
film in the series, which grossed $38M, but I wouldn't
bet on it. It should do much better on cable and/or
DVD, where the teenagers in the real target audience
will be able to watch it with impunity. Assuming that
"impunity" comes from the Latin root meaning "giggle
weed."
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Our Grade:
If you are not familiar with our grading system, you
need to read the
explanation, because the grading is not linear.
For example, by our definition, a C is solid and a C+
is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs and As.
Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:
C+
First-rate genre fare, but no crossover appeal.
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