Star Slammer (1984) from Tuna

Star Slammer (1984), which is called Prison Ship at IMDB, is an Action/Comedy/SciFi by Fred Olen Ray. It marks the third terrible film in a row I have endured. 

Taura (Sandy Brooke) is a space miner who is hassled by corrupt government representatives, framed for a murder or two, and sentenced to a space ship prison. For there, it is Women in Prison meets Star Wars, but with special effects at about kindergarten crayon level, terrible acting, none of the worthwhile WIP cliches, a trite derivative story line, and a sound track comprised entirely of inappropriate classical tunes, such as Bolero and Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. 

NUDITY REPORT

Sandy Brooke shows her buns in butt-floss shorts on the mining planet, then shows her breasts twice changing.

DVD info from Amazon.

bare bones

This film is not of the so bad it's good variety, it is simply abysmal. http://www.prisonflicks.com/starslam.htm is a great site devoted to WIP films, which agrees with me on this one. I shudder to think what fragrance of Yak excrement is in store for  tomorrow. 

The Critics Vote

  • no reviews online

The People Vote ...

  • With their votes ... IMDB summary: IMDb voters score it 4.8. It is interesting that not a single woman has voted at IMDb. 
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, this film is a F.

Return to the Movie House home page