Tender is the Heart (2001) from Tuna

Tender is the Heart (2001) is a whole new genre. It is a "soft-core soap opera romance" (as in romance novel). I have said in the past that C+ is the highest possible grade for a soft-core. Well, the highest possible grade for a "soft-core soap romance" is F+. It has the flubbed lines, hospital settings and repeated dialogue of a soap, the "poor tennis star finds true love with a famous doctor" romance story, and a lot of naked people having simulated sex.
Famous tennis star Jennifer Gayle collapses on the court. Turns out she is diagnosed with a minor brain tumor by doctor wonderful, who lost his wife, Adrianna Sult, in a traffic accident. His best friend, who tried to set him up with Stacy Noel for a double date with his girlfriend Jane Smith is to perform the laser surgery. Gayle's manager, Toby Miller, ends up with the surgeon. Lets see, there is nothing at all at IMDB, so that leaves the nudity report. 

NUDITY REPORT

see the main commentary
  • Gayle shows breasts and buns in three sex scenes.
  • Adrianna Sult shows everything in a dream sequence
  • Stacy Noel has sex with doctor wonderful, and a threesome with the surgeon and Jane Smith (Breasts and buns here.)
  • Jane Smith is only in the threesome. Also breasts and buns
  • Toby Miller seems to have forgotten that this was a soft-core, shows everything, and is well acquainted with Mr. Penis.
The film is really as bad as it sounds. There is a sub-plot about a hacker going into the hospital computer, but it dies half way into the film. The surgeon, at one point, says "Remember, I took one of my electives in Psychiatry." Wrong. The elective would have been Psychology, not Psychiatry. Some of the visuals were nice, although the film was over-dark in parts. Acting was simply not there.  

The Critics Vote

  • no reviews on file

The People Vote ...

  • not in IMDb
IMDb guideline: 7.5 usually indicates a level of excellence, about like three and a half stars from the critics. 6.0 usually indicates lukewarm watchability, about like two and a half stars from the critics. The fives are generally not worthwhile unless they are really your kind of material, about like two stars from the critics. Films under five are generally awful even if you like that kind of film, equivalent to about one and a half stars from the critics or less, depending on just how far below five the rating is.

My own guideline: A means the movie is so good it will appeal to you even if you hate the genre. B means the movie is not good enough to win you over if you hate the genre, but is good enough to do so if you have an open mind about this type of film. C means it will only appeal to genre addicts, and has no crossover appeal. D means you'll hate it even if you like the genre. E means that you'll hate it even if you love the genre. F means that the film is not only unappealing across-the-board, but technically inept as well.

Based on this description, out of a maximum of F+, this one is a full F.

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