Uncle Scoopy's Fun House (scoopy.net) is a daily internet e-zine dedicated to keeping its readers abreast and abuttock of the latest in celebrity nudity.

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In January, Uncle Scoopy's Fun House ran a poll to select the best nude performances among the Year 1999 releases. The competition was open to theatrical films, TV films, cable films, made-for-video movies, and even to foreign films without United States releases. Here, for your delectation, the members present the Scoopies, our equivalent of the Oscars for the best screen nudity of the year 1999. These were the top fourteen choices, the only fourteen to receive substantial support from the electorate. (Others listed below)
14. Kate Winslet in "Holy Smoke"

Kate seems to be establishing that she is ready to take the Helen Mirren Award for a combination of superb acting and frontal nudity, as soon as Alex Kingston is ready to surrender it.

She already has two Oscar nominations, and given Kate's streak of "Jude", "Titanic", "Hideous Kinky", "Holy Smoke", and "Quills", there is probably no major actress in the world who has delivered more flesh more consistently in the past five years.

13. Leslie Stefanson in "The General's Daughter"

Although she is not as famous as the other thirteen women on this list, Ms Stefanson was one of the most discussed actresses in the world when this film was released, and the community of film devotees was buzzing about this graphic rape scene.

12. Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry"

The female karate kid seems to have grown up.

She first showed up the in original "Buffy" movie, then teamed with Mister Miyagi, then joined the cast of "Beverly Hills 90210" - all in all a career path that seemed more likely to lead to Grade B films than the Royal Shakespeare Company.

Until last March, when she stood on the stage of the Shrine Auditorium and accepted her Academy Award as the Best Actress of the year while Meryl Streep and others got to applaud from their seats for her performance as the girl who wanted to be a boy.

11. Caroline Ducey in "Romance X"

This import featured some of the most explicit sex, dialogue, and nudity ever seen in a non-porn film. Miss Ducey did nothing to quell the controversy when she later claimed that she had been "exploited" by the filmmakers.

The mainstream release of this film, while not without substantial controversy even in France, proved that the French will challenge convention, and approach reality in ways that American films will rarely, if ever, dare.

10. Ashley Judd in "Double Jeopardy'"

The beautiful and bankable Ashley Judd can usually be counted on to liven up a film with her sweet face and her lovely body. This vote seems to represent a tribute to her career, rather than to this specific film.

Although there wasn't that much nudity in this role, Ashley's starring presence carried the little bit a long way.

9. Halle Berry in "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge"

A vote here was basically for the gorgeous Halle more than for the role, which didn't include that much nudity at all. Halle was the executive producer as well as the star of this elegantly filmed and costumed biopic, which was made for cable TV.

8. Julianne Moore in "The End of the Affair"

Beautiful photography and tenderness marked this luscious scene featuring the redhead who proved in "Short Cuts" that, as she told director Robert Altman, the carpet matches the drapes.

Talk about a career turnaround. Virtually unknown at age 32, she is now one of the most recognized and esteemed actresses in the world eight years later, and she proved here, at age 38, that she will still deliver exquisite nudity when the part requires it. This performance was nominated for an Oscar.

7. Tara Reid in "Body Shots"

This film marked the point at which 23 year old Tara stopped her career tease and got her top down.

Was it date rape, or was it consensual sex? Reid, her lover, and their friends discussed the issue ad infinitum in a Roshomon-like reconstruction of an evening of drunken revelry. The film broke a lot of taboos with its frank dialogue about such normally unmentioned topics as analingus.

6. Hudson Leick in "Denial'

What a combination! The evil Calisto from a certain popular cult series. A beautiful face and body. One of the most spirited sex scenes ever shown in a mainstream film. Although the movie fell somewhat short of Citizen Kane status, aficionados of screen nudity rejoiced to see real sex portrayed on screen, instead of the cliched show motion movie sex with the partners staring tenderly into each other's eyes.

5. Mena Suvari in "American Beauty"

The acclaimed Best Picture of 1999 also produced two of the five most popular nude scenes, combining with several other fine actresses and fine films in 1999 to show the world that great films can also include great nudity.

There is a possibility that this will represent the last appearance by Miss Suvari in a list of top nude scenes. She has declared that she will not do any more screen nudity.

4. Thora Birch in "American Beauty"

Because sometimes there's just so much beauty in the world.

She was only 17 when she performed this scene, and did so in the presence of her parents to assure moral rectitude, and a representative of the labor board to assure she was not an exploited minor.

Most screen nudity devotees are still trying to determine why her character was contemplating breast implants, since it seems that she has enough to spare.

3. Nicole Kidman, "Eyes Wide Shut"

Has any woman ever kept improving like Nicole? She has left behind a considerable film legacy with substantial nudity, which permits us to see that every part of her keeps improving with age, from her face to her seemingly infinite legs.

Without any question, her appearance in Kubrick's swan song stole the film, and made her the Screen Rear of the Year in 1999. She duplicated the achievement on stage as well, with her much discussed appearance in "The Blue Room"

2. Rene Russo in "The Thomas Crown Affair"

In a year with many nude scenes from women over 40, Russo received five times as many votes as all the others combined, and even gave the kid a run for number one overall. This movie, together with Scavullo's subsequent re-publication of his nude photographs from her youth, turned Rene from a solid performer into a popular love goddess at age 46.

So much for the runners-up. And the winner is:

1. Shannon Elizabeth in "American Pie"

Who would you expect to win an internet poll about movie nudity except the beautiful woman who appeared in an extended movie scene about being naked on the internet?

Go for it, trig boy.

Honorable mention:

15. Elisabeth Shue, "Molly". 16. Ali Larter, Varsity Blues" 17. Charlize Theron, "The Cider House Rules" 18. Hannah Klintoe, "Loss of Sexual Innocence" 19. Chloe Sevigny, "Boys Don't Cry" 20. Angelina Jolie, "Pushing Tin" 21. Sigourney Weaver, "A Map of the World" 22. Catherine Deneuve, "Pola X" 23. Heike Makatsch, "Aimee and Jaguar" 24. Diane Lane, "A Walk on the Moon"" 25. Jessica Lange, "Titus"

 

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