Uncle Scoopy's Fun House (scoopy.net) is a daily internet e-zine dedicated to keeping its readers abreast and abuttock of the latest in celebrity nudity.
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|In January, Uncle Scoopy's Fun House ran a members poll to select the best nude performances among the Year 2000 releases. The competition was open to theatrical films, TV films, cable films, made-for-video movies, and foreign films without United States releases.||Here, for your delectation, the members present the Scoopies, our equivalent of the Oscars for the best screen nudity of the year 2000. These were the top ten choices, as chosen by the poll results, with the second ten listed as honorable mentions at the end.|
|10. Michelle Williams in "If These
Walls Could Talk, 2"
Young Michelle dazzled viewers with her assets for the first time on the big screen, in a tender all-girl love scene with Chloe Sevigny in this lesbian-themed film. Williams, the petite girl from rural Montana who became known to the country as a regular on Dawson's Creek, was only 19 when the scenes were filmed.
|9. Jennifer Connelly in "Waking the
Ultrababe Jennifer Connelly, who is undoubtedly the real holder of the title of "most downloaded woman in the history of the internet", possesses two of the largest and most magnificent wonders of the modern world, and beats out some of those ancient wonders as well. Colossus of Rhodes or Jen's own personal Colossi?
|8. Alex Kingston in "The Essex Boys"
This little-seen entry in the Brit-gangster genre featured Ms Kingston in a clearly-lit nude scene, proving that she's still fine, if no longer Fiennes. Alex must get her generation's Helen Mirren Award for the most and best screen nudity from the Masterpiece Theater crowd.
|7. Peta Wilson in "Mercy"
"Mercy" offered more Sapphic action, featuring Ellen Barkin as a straight cop investigating clues which lead her to the lesbian scene and Peta, who does a full turn of nudity from all angles and in many positions. The most outstanding feature was probably Peta's bum, which may have qualified for Screen Rear of the Year.
|6. Laetitia Casta in "The Blue
The Corsican supermodel is not well known to general American audiences except among devotees of the internet, where she reigns supreme among the world's young goddesses. Casta was recently chosen by France's mayors to pose for the new statues of Marianne, the feminine symbol of the French nation. Some women protested, since Casta's body represents an unrealistic standard for average women. Not so. Casta's body represents an unrealistically high standard for anyone.
|5. Gretchen Mol in "Forever Mine"
Gretchen Mol isn't as famous as Katie Holmes, her breasts aren't as large as Connelly's or Casta's, and her obscure movie was premiered on cable TV. If all things were more equal in this unequal world, this may have finished number one instead of five. Miss Mol is ethereally beautiful, and the explicit scenes were shot in good light.
|4. Amy Smart in "Road Trip"
She's 24, she's cute, she's the perfect blond all-American surfer chick, she hasn't flashed much before, and she must have a good sense of humor to get this close to Tom Green.
So when she took off her shirt in this popular lowbrow comedy, it was especially appreciated by the guys in their 20's.
Not that older guys objected to the sight of this delightful dish.
|3. Jennifer Connelly in "Requiem for
This marks two nominations in one year for the internet's uberbabe. She's the screen nudity equivalent of Steven Soderbergh! The content of this film, the despair of heroin addiction, is about as far from "Road Trip" as one can travel. The director of this film is the relentlessly intellectual Darren Aronofsky, who took the material from Hubert Selby Jr's own screenplay of his underground 60's novel of the same name. Connelly shocked her fans by appearing without her pants.
|2. Amanda Peet in "The Whole Nine
Talk about scene-stealing. The girl with a million teeth appeared naked out of nowhere to distract the mob guys so Bruce Willis could put them down, and then she even got off a few shots of her own. It certainly couldn't have been a conceled weapon. Without any question, it was the year's top rated scene of stark naked women using firearms near a member of the "Friends" cast.
Rumor has it that the mobsters died with a very happy grin on their faces, and that wasn't a gun in their pockets
|So much for the runners-up. And the winner
1. Katie Holmes in "The Gift"
She's a household name, she's the girl next door, and almost every male on the planet was already in love with her before she took off her shirt. And who could have guessed what she had underneath.
11. Robin Tunney, Supernova. 12. Kate Winslet, Quills 13. Kate Hudson, Almost Famous 14. Rhona Mitra, Hollow Man 15. Chloe Sevigny, "If These Walls Could Talk, 2" 16. Charlize Theron, "Reindeer Games" 17. Polly Walker, "8 1/2 Women" 18. Charlize Theron, "The Yards" 19. Catherine Sutherland, "The Cell" 20. Samantha Morton, "Jesus' Son"
comparison or further study, you may want to consider the
following list of links. The summaries for the years
before 2006 do not include links to film clips, but the
later ones do.