Uncle Scoopy's Fun House (scoopy.net) is a daily internet e-zine dedicated to keeping its readers abreast and abuttock of the latest in celebrity nudity.

Uncle Scoopy's Movie House (scoopy.com) is a totally free site which features thousands of movie reviews, focusing on new cinema releases and new DVD releases. The reviews summarize the films and the reactions of the major reviewers, with a special emphasis on the nudity and extra DVD features.

In December, Uncle Scoopy's Fun House ran a members poll to select the best nude performances among the Year 2003 releases. The competition was open to film and TV shows which were released in 2003, or films which were made earlier, but not available until 2003. Here, for your delectation, the members present the Scoopies, our equivalent of the Oscars for the best screen nudity of the year 2003.

These were the top choices, as determined by the results of the poll.

15. Sienna Guillory in "Helen of Troy"

Was this the bum that launched a thousand CGI ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium?

Sienna gets my personal vote for the best looking behind in any of this year's nude scenes.

14. Diane Keaton in "Something's Gotta Give"

Prior to 2003, our annual top 20 list had never included a woman aged 55 or more.  This year, there are two: Diane and Charlotte Rampling, who finished in a tie for 17th. Both did lower frontal exposure, setting an excellent example for the youngsters. (Ms. Rampling turns 59 in February, 2004, making her 11 months older than Diane)

13. Naomi Watts in "21 Grams"

Naomi's spectacular nipples, which were featured prominently in a sex scene with Spicoli, provided the only reasons to smile in the depressing non-linear film that one critic described as "a movie that wallows so profoundly in its own misery that watching it is like atoning for some sin you didn't commit."

11(t). Mary-Louise Parker in "Angels in America"

In a long and solid career, Mary-Louise Parker had never done any full frontal or rear nudity. Then, one night in December on cable TV, there it was, all of it, as the 38 year old actress stood there naked and vulnerable, asking her man - and, by extension, asking us - to look at her.

11(t). Maria Bello in "The Cooler"

Maria continued to create unusual roles in some of the more offbeat mainstream films. In this one, she also supplied some impressive frontal and rear nudity in sex scenes with that noted Love God, William H Macy.

How could the "unluckiest man in the world" be lucky enough to get a fox like Maria for a girlfriend? You'll have to watch The Cooler to find out.

10. Josie Davis in "Sonny"

As you can see from the picture to the right, little Sara from Charles in Charge has grown up, baring all in a film that proved Nic Cage could be just as weird a director as he is an actor.

I will keep spending money on his films, however, if he keeps getting major babes like Josie naked.

8(t). Ludivine Sagnier in "The Swimming Pool"

She is still relatively unknown in the States, but Americans are gradually discovering what the rest of the world has already found out, that Ludivine Sagnier is the sexiest young actress in the world.

The sweet face of a little girl, the best natural body in years, and a willingness to show that body off unselfconsciously are the smoldering elements that have defined her as  the latest French Lolita.

Her work ethic is as impressive as her figure: 24 years old, and already  27 credits at IMDb

8(t). Amanda Swisten in "American Wedding"

Swisten played the maid Fraulein Brandi to Nikki Ziering's Officer Kristal, two erotic fantasy characters who have to pretend to be the real thing in order to fool Jim's future parents-in-law in the final segment of the American Pie trilogy.

7. Leelee Sobieski in "L'Idole"

Of all the young actresses in film today, Leelee must be the hardest to define. Will she make a living as a mainstream, commercial  Hollywood actress? Will she seek less commercial prestige products like The Uprising? Will she gravitate toward art films like this? Will she decide to perform in English or French?  All of the above?

Stay tuned. She hasn't figured it all out yet.

6. Nikki Ziering in "American Wedding"

The annual lists usually include at least one scene which uses nudity to create humor. This highly choreographed farce scene juxtaposed a raunchy bachelor party with a young man trying to impress his prospective in-laws - in the same house at  the same time

Born Nikki Schieler, she was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in September of 1997.

5. Meg Ryan in "In the Cut"

Meg was the leading vote getter among the over-40 actresses. People seemed to think of this role as a breakthrough in her career, and perhaps in was in terms of the dark tone of the film, but in fact Meg has been topless before in The Doors, The Presidio, Young Hearts, and Flesh and Bone. In the Cut did mark her first lower body nudity, although the scene was filmed in dark, funky lighting.

4. Justine Bateman in "Out of Order"

If there is a category that dominates our voting year after year, it is "first-timers who started acting as girls". Whenever a young woman who has grown up in the public eye removes her clothes in front of a camera for the first time, she's a sure bet to place high with our voters.

Particularly if she's hot.

3. Chloe Hunter in "Spun"

Our  voters are supposed to be voting for the best scene, but they really vote for the actress and the context as much as the scene, thus often overrating scenes with first-timers and those featuring famous actresses. In this case, they were really honoring the scene. In fact, this probably was the best nude scene of 2003. Chloe spent this entire film naked and spread-eagled. If it had featured Christina Ricci, this scene might have gotten every vote.

2. Charlotte Ross in NYPD Blue: Nude Awakenings.

There have been nude scenes on broadcast TV before, but never one good enough to finish among our annual leaders.

NYPD Blue continues to outpace its competition in sheer daring, and Charlotte must now hold the record for the best nudity in the history of commercial broadcast TV.

So much for the runners-up. And the winner is:

1. Christina Ricci in "Prozac Nation"

After its theatrical release was postponed several times, then scrubbed altogether, Prozac Nation finally made it to DVD in several countries in 2003, just in time to make its rising star the woman we were happiest to see naked this year.



Honorable mention:

15(t). Jennifer Connelly in "The House of Sand and Fog" 17(t). Emily Mortimer in "The Sleeping Dictionary" (pictured)  17(t). Charlotte Rampling in "The Swimming Pool" 17(t). Tara Fitzgerald in "I Capture the Castle" 20(t). Gwyneth Paltrow in "Sylvia" 20(t). Jacinda Barrett in "The Human Stain" 20(t). Odessa Monroe in "Final Destination 2"

 


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