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Overview:
It
went down to the wire. Although Emmy Rossum built up
a head of steam at the end of the voting, she and
Kirsten Dunst ran neck-and-neck through the early
stages.
To quote ol' blue-eyes, it was a
very good year.
Two years ago I wrote,
"Once again the list was dominated by cable TV shows,
straight-to-vid films, arthouse films and specialty
products. There were very few nude scenes from films
which reached wide general distribution, and the best
of those included no established stars."
Three years ago I wrote,
"There is barely a pubic hair to be seen among the top
finishers."
Those conditions are
well on their way to being turned around.
- Many of the top finishers of 2011 are popular
girls-next-door who took it all off for the camera
in major projects. Melancholia has been chosen by
some as the film of the year. The Girl With The
Dragon Tattoo and Drive Angry were wide releases.
- Although there are still plenty of TV shows on
the list, they are not Cinemax quickies, but
highly regarded shows like Mildred Pierce, Game of
Thrones, and Shameless. A quick scan down the page
will tell you that most of them were in their
first year of existence, thus promising more in
the future.
- There are pubes to be seen from major stars like
Kirsten Dunst, Evan Rachel Wood, and Carrie
Mulligan.
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| 20t |
Esme
Bianco and Sahara Knite in Game of Thrones
(season 1)
Game of Thrones, I bow to thee! This would be the most
interesting show on TV without the nudity, and the
nudity is brilliant as well! |
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| 20t |
Liv Tyler in The
Ledge
(6.5 at IMDb)
When Liv had just
turned 18, she appeared topless in Bertolucci's
Stealing Beauty. That seemed like an auspicious start
for a career of bare flesh, but that happened in 1996,
and she has not done a nude scene between that one and
this one.
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| 20t |
Eva Green in Camelot
(in the one and only season)
Speaking
of Bernardo Bertolucci, the great Italian director
made Eva Green the once and future queen of 21st
century nudity with her nude performance in The
Dreamers. That remains the best nudity of the
millennium. It will probably be a while before
anything comes along combining beauty,
photography, star-power and nudity better than
Bertolucci and Eva did in that film.
She has
a bit more meat on her bones now than she did in
The Dreamers, but as you can see to the right,
those breasts are still epic.
In
addition to exposing her killer body, she was also
the most interesting character on Camelot.
Unfortunately, Eva was just about the
only really good thing about the show, which has
now been cancelled, forcing us to obtain our Eva
Green fix elsewhere.
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| 20t |
Keira
Knightley in A Dangerous Method
(7.0
at IMDb)
I can tell you one reason why you might want to see this
Jung biopic which takes itself much too seriously:
Michael Fassbinder whips the daylights out of Keira
Knightley's ass, while her small breasts flop around
freely and she climaxes with thundering force.
What else happens, you wonder?
Some stuff. Does it really matter?
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| 20t |
Elena Anaya in The Skin I Live In
(7.7 at IMDb)
Elena is the new Winslet. She seems
to make the list every year in some arthouse film or
another. This year it was Almodovar's peculiar La Piel
Que Habito, in which Elena managed to cover up very
little piel.
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| 18t
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Charlotte Ross in Drive Angry 3D
(5.6 at IMDb)
Not every director has
to take nude scenes seriously. This romp between
Charlotte Ross and the always quirky Nic Cage is
entertaining, but more funny than sexy.
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| 18t
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Helene Zimmer in Q
(5.1 at
IMDb)
Two women made the top twenty list
from this obscure French film. Tell you anything?
Is your guess locked in?
It is a VERY naughty French film. See
the comments about #7, Deborah Revy.
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| 17
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Sara Rue in For Christ's Sake
(7.6 at IMDb)
The IMDb score for
this film is misleading. Nobody has actually seen it.
The score is based on seven votes. But I can tell you
this: based solely on the one very brief and rather
inexplicit topless scene which made it to the
internet, Sara made it to the annual top twenty list
alongside all the heavy hitters.
How?
First, it's a very cute scene. I recommend it.
Second, Sara has breasts which are larger than several
European countries.
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| 15t
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Saralisa Volm in
Hotel Desire
(5.5 at IMDb)
Like Q, this is a
deliberately transgressive European film which hopes
to extend the boundaries of what may be portrayed on
camera in a suburban theater.
Unfortunately, like Q, it's just not a very good
movie, but perhaps it can blaze a trail for better
films to expose the private parts of public figures.
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| 15t
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Evan Rachel Wood in
Mildred Pierce
(mini-series; 7.9 at IMDb)
Kate Winslet has
already made all of our lives better by
establishing that top-notch actesses need to get naked
when the role demands it, but she is not content
merely to set a good example. In this case she
actually persuaded her co-star, Evan Rachel Wood, to
take it all off.
You'll love looking back on it and seeing how
beautiful you were, said the mentor to her pupil.
Thank you, Winslet. I don't know whether you were
actually right, but the important thing is that your
advice benefited me.
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| 14 |
Sara
Forestier in Le Nom des Gens
(7.3 at IMDb)
I don't know anything
about her, but Sara was naked for much of this
movie - and not in private, but in recognizable
public locations! It's a performance that would have
easily taken #1 for the year if delivered by an
A-lister like Natalie Portman.
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| 13 |
Carey Mulligan in Shame
(8.0 at IMDb)
By all accounts Carey
may turn out to be the Meryl Streep of her generation,
so it's great to see an acclaimed stage and screen
actress getting stark naked and flashing her pubes.
Especially since it
seems to be too late for Streep
Although some beaver shots could have made that Maggie
Thatcher movie a lot more exciting.
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12
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Laura Wiggins on
Shameless
(season 1)
As far as Shameless
goes, this girl sort of got lost in Rossumania, but
she plays a great second fiddle.
This particular scene, with Wiggins deliberately
embarrassing William Macy, is very sexy and very
funny, and she looks beautiful in the tub.
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| 11
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Morena Baccarin on
Homeland
(season 1)
Another beautiful
Brazilian (do they have any ugly chicks there?) , made
extra popular by her appearances at comic-con and in
geek shows of all kinds, like Firefly, Stargate SG-1
and V.
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| 10
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Emilia
Clarke in Game of Thrones
(season 1)
I was already pleased
with Emilia Clarke's nudity in this award-winning show
before the final episode, but when she emerged from
the fire with her clothes burned off but her body
unscathed, covered only by some ashes and some baby
dragons, I was sold.
Great series. Great nudity from many performers,
especially Emilia.
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9
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Rooney Mara in The
Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
(8.2 at IMDb)
5 nude scenes.
Five.
Plus another scene where
she rapes a naked guy.
Where can Rooney go from
here?
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8
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Kathleen Robertson on Boss
(season 1)
I have three wishes for Boss in 2012:
1. That the show gets renewed.
2. That Kathleen ramps up the nudity.
3. That they figure out how to
broadcast this damned show in good quality instead of
the grainy, dark, often blurry presentation that
marked their first year. What is the deal? Did they do
that on purpose?
(I don't know whether the Blu-Ray is
clear or marked by the same fuzziness. It is not yet
available as I write this.)
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7
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Deborah
Revy in Q
(5.1 at IMDb)
If two women from the
same film make our annual list, it's a surprise even
when they're both big names in a major film, so you
can imagine how unlikely it is for the list to feature
two unknown women from an obscure and poorly-reviewed
French film.
What's the deal?
Revy and Helene Zimmer, mainstream actresses, spend
just about the entire film getting completely naked
and having real sex - yup - blow, hand and other jobs
right there on camera. Real dicks in real
mouths.
So what are the chances of that happening in an
American movie. You reckon this one will get a re-make
with Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow?
Don't hold your breath.
Unless, of course, you're auditioning for Q 2.
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6
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Lucy Lawless and Jaime Murray in Spartacus:
Gods of the Arena
(prequel season)
I thought I was going to vote for
Autumn Reeser this year, but I re-watched this scene
when I was assembling the clips for this poll, and
decided that I couldn't make up my mind. I never did
vote in my own poll this year!
NOTE: I have not
looked at the Blu-Ray yet, but one of the special
features is intriguingly called, "content too
risqué for cable TV."
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5
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Autumn Reeser in The
Big Bang
(5.5 at IMDb)
My son loves this scene. He's been
following Autumn's career on The O.C. and Entourage,
and was shocked to find out that she had done such a
hot scene, because this film is utterly obscure (and
not especially good).
The extended version of this sex
scene just goes on and on. It's kind of a throwback to
the Age of Aquarius: gentle and weird and erotic at
the same time.
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4
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Lake
Bell in How to Make it in America
(in the one and only season)
You may have noted that the nudity in
this scene is nowhere near as impressive as that which
can be seen in the other top finishers.
Then why did it place so high?
Dude, look at that woman. Look at
that chest. And we had never seen it before. 'Nuff
said.
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3
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Emily
Browning in Sleeping Beauty
(5.4 at IMDb)
No comment necessary.
Poker players say, "cards speak for
themselves."
Same rule applies to the picture to
the right.
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2
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Kirsten Dunst in Melancholia
(7.4 at IMDb)
Kiki appeared on the annual best nude
scene list for the first time last year with her
chest, and almost made it right to the top this year
by adding the bottom half of her body.
What's next?
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1
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Emmy Rossum on
Shameless
(season 1)
When Emmy was cast in this American
adaptation of the hit British series, multiple alarms
went off in my head. I thought she was too refined and
sweet to play the blue-collar part as it needed to be
played, and I thought she would never do all the
raunchy sex and nudity.
Boy am I glad to have been wrong.
If you're not a little bit in love
with this woman, there's something wrong with you,
sparky. She can play any part; she's a good sport who
shows a great sense of humor when she visits Conan;
she's adorable; she sings like an angel; she has a
killer bod.
And as this first place finish
demonstrates, she will get as naked as the role
demands of her. (And it demanded even more than what
you can see in the sample picture to the right.)
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